Traveling for extended periods in Vietnam, I realized that Vietnamese can get easily pissed off on small things. It’s left to you if you want to piss them off with humor or with physical aggression. If you try the second one, you might well end up with few red scars on your face. Keep reading to start the mission.
Attribute them as Chinese
Ask them. “Are you Chinese. You look same-same”. Now, you already pissed off a Vietnamese. They hate the Chinese to the core and the last thing they want is someone refer to them as Chinese. Vietnamese are different people from Chinese – they speak another language, have a different cuisine, write in a different script, have many cultural differences and have a values in life.
Attributing a Vietnamese as Chinese, is as offensive as attributing an Indian as a Pakistani or an Israeli as a Palestinian, especially during a time when the diplomatic relation between the two countries is at its worst.
Ask whether they stole your dog
Wake up early in the morning, knock your neighbors door and ask them, “I cannot find my dog. Have you stolen it and cooked a meal for dinner yesterday?” Yes, Vietnamese eat dog, but not all of them, only about 0.01% of the people. Few Vietnamese are even disgusted about the fact that other Vietnamese eat dogs.
They even drink poop coffee.
Call them Socialist
Do this to a person from the South Vietnam and you will face some critical answers. If you know the history, the socialist were from North Vietnam, who defeated the democratic and capitalist South Vietnam. The South Vietnamese are still opposed to single party system & assuming them to be a one, will make them heels over heads.
More worse call them communist and see what happens.
A communist poster on the street
Saying the following things to a Vietnamese, will piss them off to the maximum limit.
- “So you defeated Americans in the war, despite being a third world country“. Yes, they get angry when someone talks about the Vietnam/America war.
- “Oh! You want to be an American“. The current generation is Vietnam hugely influenced by America of 1960’s- their style is similar to the hippies and try to speak an American accent.
- Say that “Vietnamese language sounds rude“. Yes, trust me when Vietnamese talk its just like shouting, but they would never agree.
Do what the Vietnamese don’t like.
- Bargain – Vietnamese do not bargain. When they bargain its called “loss of face” and it is an act of embarrassment. If you bargain with them, you are going to “loose your face” as well.
- Go to a pagoda wearing shoes and short clothes. It’s cultural insensitivity, but just to piss them off.
- After you finish your meal leave the chopsticks in a vertical position. They think it resembles the incense sticks that are buried near a dead body.
- Talk bad about Ho Chi Minh. If you the cops know you did, you are in for some trouble.
Disclaimer – This article is fictional in nature and not intended to hurt anyone in anyway.
Image Source
Featured Image – flickr.com/photos/95108092@N08/12133797323/
A communist poster on the street – flickr.com/photos/travelmeasia/4859091669/
